- white dad in any movie: but son, you're throwing away your DREAM
- white son in any movie: no dad, I'm throwing away ~yours~
I remember on my 4th grade field trip my class was standing on a hill and my teacher said “lets roll out” and I was like oh ok so I stared rolling down the hill and I had to hold my teachers hand for the rest of the day
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
- europeans: OH SNAP AMERICA NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU HAHA THIS IS OUR SPECIAL DAY YOU GUYS ARE LEFT OUT YOU'RE MISSING OUT OOOO
- americans: what
- europeans: OMG THEY'RE SO JEALOUS LOLOL
when ur crush talks about how hot someone else is
they call me macklemore in math class because im like
what what what what what
what what what what what what what
what what what what
hey remember that time i got grounded because i saw my dads girlfriend in the car and then saw my dad putting the dog in the back of the car and asked why he was bringing both the dogs with us
